I used to be more insouciant and followed my instincts for almost everything, which is why I could make decisions easily, but nowadays I find myself holding back on certain things. I've completed the last stage of my driving course a week ago, but initially tbh, I was reluctant to learn driving, not because I wouldn't like to drive in future. Driving is a useful skill and it would be beneficial for both my family and I because it would mean that there would be one more member in the family who could drive, and I could chauffeur them when the time asks for it, plus I hate squeezing on public transports. Eventually I decided to learn driving, and driving would also mean that I'VE BECOME A RESPONSIBLE ADULT AND I MUST CHECK MY LEFT AND RIGHT BLIND SPOT, PRACTISE DEFENSIVE DRIVING, BE 100% ALERT, NOT ROLL-BACK, NOT MOUNT/STRIKE THE KERB (FOR NOW). IT'S ALSO POSSIBLE TO KILL SOMEONE WITH THAT MACHINE. In short, the consequences are dire if I don't handle this properly.
Decisions could make you or break you. Isn't it scary? it's not just like OMG should I eat a cheeseburger or a double cheeseburger omg WHICH ONE PLEASE DECIDE FOR ME PLEASE OMG I CAN'T DECIDE. just stfu and eat both okay!! sigh okay not really maybe that's an important decision for you to make i shouldn't judge but THAT'S NOT THE POINT sighhhh recently i've been thinking a lot, more than usual anyway, I used to be able to buy a $100 toy mini camera and feel happy about it even though it's useless but now I creyyyyyyyyy over every 10 cents I drop. okay not really but something like that. it's like i have to think through something more thoroughly, weigh the costs and benefits before i really decide on something and that sucks because my brain is small and i can't take all of this. creyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
oh and it's a good time to appreciate my family because they're always here for me <3333 that time i almost exploded thinking about work and driving like whether i should work now and cancel my lessons because working would mean i have to cancel lessons and that would mean i have to take up peak period lessons and that's freaking expensive like $6 more it's already like $68++ for one lesson +$6 = $74 and i only can take the peak weekends lessons and mounting the kerb would just make you feel like dying like when i hit a kerb i'll feel like a jelly for the entire lesson = die. rolling back also crey and die. stalling = die of embarassment. but if i don't work i'll feel like a leech and die of guilt but i'm not one to ask for advice so i just kept it in and kept clicking on both websites but i almost died so i decided to ask my sister then she was like oh just take the peak lessons $74 it's just $6 more it isn't a lot nbd, go for it. and then suddenly i was enlightened like a light bulb appeared ding ding dinggggg i went down to the job agency to get the application only to find that it was 6 days a week + 3 shifts cannot choose and $6 only so lol didn't accept because as much as i want to experience, i'm still a lazy ass.
i guess i should ask my family for advice more when i'm deciding. in the past i chose everything myself because my life my rules i do what i want no i won't listen to your advice because again, my life my rules. but now it's like creyyyyyyyy help me please you are wise and you ate more salt than i ate rice please HALP i guess that's the difference when you grow older? decisions are much much more harder to make and things are more crey-worthy, like creyyyyyyyyyyyy i hit the kerb today creyyyyyyy my parallel parking sucks creyyyyyyyyy i rolled back crey crey how am i going to pass my tp test oh my creyssssssss staring at a file for 8 hours creyyyyyyyyyyyyy for 2 weeks more CREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY and creyyyyyyyy i'm wearing my contacts now because my glasses CREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY this post should be named like crey crey but no i'm not a whiny ass.
there's work tmr though. creyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
sob sob
